A definition of fellowship is formulated by examining the meaning of the Greek word, koinonia. The Greek word has the meaning of “sharing,” “communion,” or “partnership.” Fellowship is a sharing of the blessings and responsibilities of the Christian life. It is a partnership in carrying out the responsibilities given to believers by God. And, fellowship is communion with other believers. This refers to communication and sharing that takes place on a more intimate level (Jerry Bridges, The Crisis of Caring. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing: 1985, pp. 16-17). So, fellowship is carrying out the responsibilities and enjoying the benefits of living as a community with fellow believers.
What does fellowship look like? How is it fleshed out? What specifically are these responsibilities and blessings of fellowship between believers? Mostly, the blessings come when any two believers have met all or most of the responsibilities of a relationship. A shallow or weak relationship, whether because the relationship is young or because the people involved are not too committed, will not yield as many blessings. For example, when two believers have not begun a habit of being straightforward when admonishing each other about sin, then the blessings of receiving admonishment are not yet experienced. With that in mind, let us look at the blessings and responsibilities of true biblical fellowship between believers. In most cases when a believer gives to another believer in some way, he will sooner or later receive the same in return. Fellowship first begins with responsibilities. These responsibilities are, for the most part, summed up in the Scriptures in the “one another” commands.
Admonishing One Another. This is sometimes called reproving or rebuking. Galatians 6.1ff (“ff” means “and following.”) speak of the responsibility of seeking to restore a fallen brother that is “caught in any trespass.” When a believer sees another believer that has been deceived by the craftiness of sin, the “spiritual” brother (the believer surrendered to God and demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit) has the responsibility to work consistently (Paul uses the present tense (“Be restoring”) to indicate that it should more often be thought of as a process rather than a one time act) in order to restore the sinning brother. This restoration begins with admonishment. In Matthew 18, it is spoken of as reproof. Jesus outlines in three steps what is necessary to restore a sinning brother. It begins with confronting the sinning brother. The sinfulness of the action(s) is clarified and the sinner is urged to repent of his sin and turn to God, which is demonstrated by the right kind of living that God demands. Reproof between believers is a common topic in the Scriptures (Romans 15.14; 1 Corinthians 5; Ephesians 4.29; Hebrews 3.13; Psalm 141.5; Proverbs 9.8; and others). And much specific instruction is given as to how it should be done (Wayne A. Mack and David Swavely list many “how to’s” of confrontation in their book, Life in the Father’s House on pages 140-146. Confrontation should be carried out quickly, purposefully, verbally, privately, reluctantly, compassionately, gently, humbly, carefully, and prayerfully. Jesus provides an example of admonishment for us in Revelation 2 when He speaks to the church at Ephesus. See appendix 1).
When an atmosphere is created between two believers so that each brother feels comfortable to confront the other, then the blessings of such a relationship are obvious. Each will be encouraged to deal with his sin immediately. Each will be encouraged to ‘not sin’ because he knows that loving admonishment will eventually be the result. God is gracious when he gives a man a loving rebuke through another believer.
Praying for One Another. James 5.16 speaks of believers’ responsibility to pray for one another. With this responsibility comes the probable blessing of being prayed for by another. When two believers share needs and faults with each other, there is a newfound stability for the Christian life. The Scriptures teach us that prayer is often a means by which God works. It is of value to pray. God does hear the prayers of His saints, and a believer should find great comfort in knowing that another believer is consistently praying for Him. It takes much work, though, to maintain such a relationship in which prayer is the norm. James talks about confession of faults to one another. Certainly, a believer will have to be willing to share personal weaknesses with another believer in order for the other believer to earnestly pray for him.
Forgiving One Another. Believers are commanded to forgive one another just as God has forgiven them. Two parallel passages in the Scriptures teach this: Ephesians 4.32 and Colossians 3.13. The passage in Ephesians goes into more detail to tell us why and how the Father forgives His children. It is because the believer is “in Christ.” The Father forgives His children on the basis of their imputed righteousness. The Father sees his child as perfect…as Christ is perfect. The forgiveness then is righteous, thorough, consistent, gracious, and eternal. This should also characterize the forgiveness demonstrated within a relationship between believers. God gives much grace in such a relationship. A relationship in which biblical forgiveness is the norm is one in which there is no fear. Each of the believers learns to give grace to others as he has received from God. As well, each believer learns to live humbly in his own relationship with God.
Other “One Another” Commands. Many other commands are given that pertain to relationships (biblical fellowship). These include caring for one another (1 Corinthians 12.25), honoring one another (Romans 12.10), and teaching one another (Psalm 119.13 and Proverbs 27.17).
The Scriptures teach throughout, that people are not made to live their lives without other people. Genesis 2.8 says, “it is not good that man should be alone.” After God announced this, He made a woman for the man. God created man with the ability and responsibility to have relationships. Ecclesiastes 4.9-12 says that two or three people together are more productive than two are three people alone. Man is created with the need for relationships with God and with other people. This is implied in the first and second greatest commandments given in Matthew 22.34-40. Jesus commanded all men to love God first and man second. God considers relationships with other people to be very important.
When a person is saved he is baptized (put into) the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12.13). He is put into a community of believers. He is not commanded to be a part of the Body. He already is. He is commanded to act appropriately. He is commanded to not forsake assembling together with other believers (Hebrews 10.25). He is commanded to maintain unity (Ephesians 4.3). This is done by obeying the “one another” commands and by using spiritual gifts to edify one another.
First John 2.10 says that a person that has fellowship with God will also have fellowship with other people. Verse 9 says that a person that hates his brother does not have any kind of fellowship with God. A person that claims to be “independent” or one that does not have good consistent biblical relationships with other believers is revealing something about his relationship with God. The only true fellowship between people takes place among believers. The church must foster balanced biblical fellowship.
Appendix 1: Learning from Christ about How to Give Admonishment
Richard Mayhue, in his book, What Would Jesus Say About Your Church? Offers 6 lessons for us to apply in our efforts to admonish a sinning brother. I give these to you almost exactly as Mayhue lists them in his book. When confronting a sinning brother…
1. Confront with love and with the goal of restoration (2.4-5).
2. Encouragement should precede correction (2.2-3,6).
3. Openly and concisely state the problem (2.4-5).
4. Tell the person what it takes to be restored (in their fellowship with God and in their usefulness to Christ in His ministry) (2.5). Jesus gave the people at Ephesus 3 actions to take: remember your past, repent, and return to doing the right actions.
5. Tell the sinning brother clearly what the consequences will be for his disobedience (2.5). Do not misunderstand. You are not trying to bully him into doing right by giving him a threat. You are helping him to understand what God says about the situation. This may include, but should not be limited to, telling him what God says your next responsibility will be (according to Matthew 18, you will have to meet with the sinning brother again, but with a witness) and telling him the temporal consequences of his sin (maybe something like “if you do not quit drinking you may lose your job, or your life…”).
6. Talk to him with the expectation that he will respond correctly (2.7). Your words should be ‘flavored with hope.’
