A couple of weeks ago I preached on the wife's role of sumbitting to her husband.  The sermon came in an expositional series on the Book of Colossians.  Chapter 3, verse 18 says, "Wives be subject to your husbands as if fitting in the Lord."  It is amazing how simple the verse reads but how difficult the truth is for people to accept. Knowing people would struggle to accept Paul's clear statement in Colossians, I went on to explain the teaching on the wife's role of submitting to her husband as it is given throughout Scripture. 

 

Six biblical truths explained submission

Here are six biblical truths that will help you understand the wife’s responsibility of submitting to her husband.

 

1.  God created men and women as equals.

 

Look at Genesis 1:27. 

Genesis 1:27
²⁷God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

This is the sixth day of creation.  The text says that both men and women were created in the image of God.  We could say a lot about that, but we will settle on the simple fact that they are both created equal before God.  They are both created to have a relationship with God.  They are both to “subdue’ the earth as it says in verse 28.

 

Consider also another passage which speaks of the spiritual equality of men and women.

Galatians 3:28
²⁸There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

 

Spiritually, all people are equal.  There is no race or gender which makes you more acceptable to God.  God does not favor one race or gender over another.

 

2. God created woman from man.

 

Genesis 2 is a fuller explanation of the creation of man.  It expresses the intention of God from the very beginning.

 

Genesis 2:7 says God created the man from dirt.

Genesis 2:7
⁷Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

Genesis 2:8 says He put man in the garden and told him to keep it. 

Genesis 2:8
⁸The Lord God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed.

Genesis 2:18 says God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone, so He determined to create a helper suitable for him.

Genesis 2:18
¹⁸Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:21-22 tells how God created woman. 

Genesis 2:21-22
²¹So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. ²²The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

The fact that the woman was created from man is significant because it means...

 

3.  God created woman for man.  Therefore, wives are to glorify their husbands. 

 

Genesis 2:23-24 says marriage is the general intention of God for creation. 

Genesis 2:23-24
²³The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” ²⁴For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Woman was created second.  Woman was created for the man; man was not made for the woman.  Therefore, wives should recognize their husbands as their head.  Wives should also see their role as a helper.

 

The woman was created to complement the man.

1 Corinthians 11:7-9
⁷For a man...is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; ⁹for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.

The world says if you don't have the same function or role then you aren’t equal.  The Bible says you are equal in your standing before God (as men and women), but you don't have the same role.

 

4. God’s command concerning the roles in marriage became a struggle to obey since the fall of man into sin.

 

Genesis 3:16 says the curse, among other things, meant that the woman would have a strong desire to overtake or control her husband.

Genesis 3:16
¹⁶To the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”

God told the woman, "your desire will be for your husband."  The parallel usage of the verb, “desire,” is found in 4:7b.  Because the wording is the same it helps us to understand what exactly is meant.

Genesis 4:7
⁷“If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

In this verse, God is speaking to Cain.  At the end of the verse God speaks of sin when He says, "its desire is for you."  In other words, "sin is trying to control you."

 

5. God requires the wife to submit to her husband as her head as a picture of the relationship of Christ and His church.

Ephesians 5:22-24
²²Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. ²⁴But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

6. God’s command to wives to submit to their husbands does not mean the wife is inferior.

 

Submission does not mean one is inferior to another.  Consider the following points.

• Jesus Christ submits to His Father even though Christ is not inferior to His Father.

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

Christ will submit to the Father throughout all eternity. 

1 Corinthians 15:28
When all things are subjected to Him, then the Son Himself also will be subjected to the One who subjected all things to Him, so that God may be all in all.

• Jesus Christ submitted to his parents while He was on the earth even though He was not inferior to them.

Luke 2:51
And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

• We are not inferior to the governing authorities although we are told to submit to them in Romans 13.

6. God commands wives to submit to their husbands in all things except for sin.

 

Look at Paul's words to Titus.  He says wives are to be subject to their own husbands.

Titus 2:3-5
³Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, ⁴so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Some would say, “I am sure this only applies to my husband when He tells me to do what God already commands me to do.”  No.  It pertains to all things.

Ephesians 5:22-24
²²Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. ²⁴But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Some would say, “I am sure this only applies to Christian husbands.”  No.  It pertains to all husbands, saved or unsaved.  In fact, your submission is a tool good uses to teach your husband.

1 Peter 3:1-6
¹In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, ²as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. ³Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; ⁴but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. ⁵For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; ⁶just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Even when your husband is not good and gentle and reasonable.  When Peter spoke of submission of servants to earthly masters it didn't depend on the gentleness or reasonableness of their masters.  The same is true for submission in marriage.

1 Peter 2:18
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.

Wives must look to Christ is their example (we all must). 

1 Peter 2:21
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

Following this verse Peter says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands.”

 

"In everything" is huge!

“In everything” (Ephesians 5:24) includes finances, the color of paint on the walls in your home, the way you dress, they way you train your children, what type of milk you buy, where you go on vacation, etc.  This is the same way we all must submit to Christ.  We submit to Him in everything...at least we are supposed to submit to Him in everything.

 

Wives, you know that in most cases your husband won't care about the color of paint on the walls or other "insignificant" matters.  However, if he does God calls you to submit to him.  Of course, it is not wrong to respectfully appeal to him though.  Obviously, if your husband is a Christian and is faithfully loving you as Christ loves the church, it will make your life far more enjoyable and "easy."  If you are married to an unbeliever, God will give you the strength you need to be faithful to God by loving your husband and submitting to Him. 

 

God first, husband second

Submission to your husband does not mean you should ever disobey God.  If your husband wants you to do something that is sin against God, then you cannot obey your husband.  It is not simply that you don’t have to obey him, you must not.

Acts 5:29
But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

For example, you must disobey if your husband forbids you to go to church or teach your children the gospel.  You must disobey if your husband tells you to lie or steal or any other sin.  But, if he asks you to do something that is not contrary to Scripture, you must submit to him as is fitting in the Lord (Colossians 3:18).